Sage Divorce Planning LLC

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Divorce and the not-so-happy holidays

Holidays and divorceWith Halloween behind us, now comes the busy holiday season. It’s not just stores that start to buzz with activity. As many divorce attorneys will tell you, holidays are a time when parents – yes, even those with carefully crafted parenting plans – fight over who gets to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah and New Years with whom.

A Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA) is designed to lay out who has the children on which holiday. And sometimes, they are even as detailed as to say that Christmas morning will be spent with mom and Christmas afternoon will be spent with dad.

But often life can get in the way. Situations change, opportunities may present themselves i.e. the chance to take the kids to Mickey’s Very Merry Christmas, or perhaps grandma and grandpa no longer can travel and you want to take the kids to see them this year. Situations that did not exist at the time the MSA was signed can often wreak havoc on the holidays.

That’s why communication, early and often, is important. Don’t wait until the last minute to drop the bomb on your ex. Do whatever you can to make sure they are aware of your intentions early. If your MSA says you must split a holiday with your ex, but you want to take the kids out of town for the entire week or weekend, talk it out ahead of time. Don’t spring your plans on the other at the last minute and not expect a fight.

Finances also can play a key role during the holidays, so don’t use your financial resources against your ex. While you may be able to afford that trip to Disney, or even buy your child that expensive electronic device they have been begging for, your ex may not have the money. Don’t make the holidays a competition. Discuss the situation with your ex and find a way to give that gift, without making the other look bad. You also may want to discuss your child’s holiday wish list with each other to make sure that gifts are not duplicated.

Try to be flexible. If something does come up and you need to switch gears, if you can make it happen without too much of an inconvenience, then why not? The favor you grant today, may need to be returned in the future.

Extended family is not always considered at the time of the divorce. But what happens when aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews decide that this is the year for a holiday family gathering? If your children are old enough, include them in the conversation. How do they feel about spending the holidays with relatives? Some ex’s are on good enough terms to include each other in their family reunion plans. If that works, all the better. If not, find a way that works for all involved, but most importantly for the children.

Create a support team for yourself. This is especially important if you will be spending the holidays away from the children. Find others who might be alone and create your own celebrations and traditions. If you are the primary caretaker during the rest of the year, take the time to take care of yourself. Relax, indulge yourself with something as simple as a massage, or if finances allow, travel.

Holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, but particularly for those who are divorced with children. These few simple steps can make it easier to navigate the holiday season and bring you into a new year with less stress and hopefully happy holiday memories.

Alan Frisher is a Licensed Financial Advisor as well as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. His goal is to help clients understand their financial situation and to come to the best resolution based on their individual situation. For more information, contact Alan at (321) 242-7526 or email him at info@sagedivorce.com.

Why you should consult a CDFA before contacting a divorce attorney

Why hire a CDFAThe late country singer Jerry Reed who sang “She got the goldmine, I got the shaft” wasn’t far off when it relates to how some people going through a divorce can feel.

Divorce is emotional and when the love is gone, people often look to money to fill the void – and sometimes get back at their soon-to-be ex-spouse.

That’s why before you pick up the phone and call a divorce attorney, it’s best to consult someone who can help you to better understand the financial implications that come along with going from I do, to I don’t.

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) is trained and knows, not only about your state’s financial divorce laws, but also about personal financial planning. In addition, initially consulting with a Divorce Financial Analyst can cost significantly less than the hourly fee oftentimes charged by an attorney.

You wouldn’t walk into the middle of a bullring without knowing what to expect, why walk into a divorce attorney’s office without knowing and understanding your financial situation and how divorce will change your financial future?

A CDFA’s job is to gather as much financial information as possible and to paint a realistic picture of what life will be like down the road.

He or she will determine the following:

  • What assets are owned. This includes anything from cars, homes, money in the bank, retirement accounts, stocks and business holdings.
  • What money is owed, such as a mortgage, car payment credit cards, etc.
  • Whether it’s in the client’s best interest to keep, sell or rent out the marital home.
  • Seek to uncover any hidden assets a spouse may have.
  • Determine post-divorce tax implications.
  • If a business is involved, be able to understand it’s actual valuation.
  • Create a realistic budget based on what is being spent today and what money will be available post-divorce.
  • Assessing the tax implications of any transfers, sales, or distribution of assets.

Once those and other questions are answered, the client will be able to provide a divorce attorney with a much clearer picture of their financial situation. This also will enable you to complete complex financial disclosures that will be submitted to the court as part of your divorce filing.

This is imperative because once you sign off on a divorce settlement, there’s no going back, unless there is some substantial change in your financial situation such as an inability to work due to an injury. Even then, it’s a process that will require additional legal fees and time in front of a judge.

I have witnessed first-hand angry spouses using finances to get back at each other. As a CDFA, it’s my job to take the financial tension out of the equation by using straightforward facts and figures. Oftentimes, this means having to help clients adjust to a lower standard of living.

We also can help clients to decide their options when it comes time to untying the knot. Will they want to litigate their divorce? This can become a costly option. Are they amenable to mediation? This means that the couple will have to come to the table and be willing to hammer out an agreement with a mediator. Collaborative divorce is another option. This is when attorneys for both sides use cooperative techniques instead of adversarial strategies and litigation during the divorce process.

All of this is not to say that a divorcing couple should skip hiring an attorney. They are certainly knowledgeable about the law and will advocate for you in court or at the mediation table. However, because most do not have the training and knowledge required to analyze a couple’s finances and help them to transition from married to single life, bringing in a CDFA first will provide the attorney, and you, with the information needed to make the divorce process as smooth and equitable as possible.

Alan Frisher is a Licensed Financial Advisor as well as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. His goal is to help clients understand their financial situation and to come to the best resolution based on their individual situation. For more information, contact Alan at (321) 242-7526 or email him at info@sagedivorce.com.

 

After divorce: Can “birdnesting” work for you?

birdnestingIf you haven’t heard of birdnesting yet, chances are you may soon. It’s one of the latest trends in post-divorce child custody arrangements. Simply put, instead of having the children shuttled from one parent’s house to the other’s, the children stay in the marital home and the parents do the shuttling.

The whole idea behind birdnesting is to give the children a sense of security – after all it’s not their fault that their parents’ marriage didn’t work out.

Although not common – at least not yet – it seems to be catching on in some circles. A handful of celebrities, including exes Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin and Mad Men” actress Anne Dudek and her ex Matthew Heller, have arrangements akin to birdnesting.

As you might imagine there are a number of pros and cons to the practice – both emotional and financial. For the concept to work, being able to maintain a good relationship with your ex is paramount. If you can’t stand the sight of each other, or you’re constantly bickering with each other in front of the children, then birdnesting isn’t likely for you.

Birdnesting also might not work if the parents live any significant distance from where the child is residing. Particularly if their workplace is far away.

Another consideration is cost. If the parents are continually moving to and from the marital home, there is a good chance that three homes will be needed: the marital home where the child continues to live, mom’s new home and dad’s new home.

Questions that also need answering include:

  • Who pays the mortgage?
  • Who owns the home being used for birdnesting?
  • How long will the arrangement continue? For example, will it end once the child reaches 16? 18? or moves out?
  • Once the child does leave the nest, who gets to keep the home, or will it be sold?
  • Who handles household expenses, i.e. food, utilities, repairs, etc.
  • How will decisions relating to household expenses be handled?
  • Can you both agree to a set of rules to live by? For example, who’s responsible for cleaning, lawn maintenance or being at the home if a repairman must come out?

The details of the arrangement are something that need to be worked out ahead of time and put in writing as part of the formal divorce and custody arrangements. Parents should sit down with a Certified Divorce Financial Planner to figure out if they have the financial resources to successfully move forward.

In some birdnesting cases, one parent remains in the marital home with the child and the other parent moves in and out regularly. While this might work if the parent coming and going has his or her own room, it could prove to be confusing for the children and become awkward in a number of ways.

Birdnesting also might make it difficult for ex-spouses to move on with their lives and develop new relationships. It would take a very understanding new boyfriend or girlfriend to accept the arrangement.

While birdnesting might sound like a good way to allow children to adjust to their parents’ divorce, parents also must decide if it’s an appropriate solution for them and their own well-being.

Alan Frisher is a Licensed Financial Advisor as well as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. His goal is to help clients understand their financial situation and to come to the best resolution based on their individual situation. For more information, contact Alan at (321) 242-7526 or email him at info@sagedivorce.com.

 

 

 

 

Alimony Modification Case Hinges on More Than One Argument

Alimony modificationJust because a spouse agrees to pay a certain amount of money in alimony at the onset of divorce, it doesn’t mean he or she must continue to pay that same amount until death do they part.

Circumstances often change. People lose jobs, become ill, get re-married, or eventually retire – all of which can have an impact their ability to pay. For these, and other reasons, alimony payers can go to court and request a modification.

Sometimes a judge will agree to a modification; sometimes he or she won’t. Then there’s always the option to appeal.

Such was the case for Lee Fischer who asked a Palm Beach County trial court judge to modify the alimony payment he was making to his ex-wife Candice stating that there had been two substantial changes in circumstances. First, he said, he had a reduced ability to pay due to his “desire to retire in the near future.” Second, he contended that his former wife had a reduced need for alimony due to the fact that she was receiving lifetime monthly annuity payments and had inherited a considerable amount of assets from her family and boyfriend.

On the second day of trial, and before Mr. Fischer was able to the present testimony of two additional witnesses, the judge dismissed the case noting that because Mr. Fischer had just recently retired, he had no track record of his post-retirement income and that his reduced ability to pay was speculative and premature. In fact, Mr. Fischer had just retired the week before trial.

Mr. Fischer argued that regardless of his income, the trial court could still reduce alimony on the grounds that his former wife no longer had a need. The trial court disagreed and dismissed the entire petition.

Mr. Fischer appealed his case before the Fourth District Court of Appeal in Palm Beach County and won. The appellate court found that the trial court violated Mr. Fischer’s right to due process by involuntarily dismissing his petition before he finished presenting his case. The appellate court also found the trial court erred in dismissing the petition based only on the one argument – his anticipated reduction in income due to his retirement – failing to take into consideration his former wife’s change in financial circumstances.

In cases where there is more than one argument, the trial court can dismiss the entire case only if the plaintiff fails to provide sufficient evidence for each of the arguments. In this case, Mr. Fischer was able to show his ex-wife had a reduced or eliminated need for alimony, which should have been sufficient to allow Mr. Fischer to present the rest of his case. The appellate court then kicked the case back to the trial court for a rehearing.

In most states, including Florida, a substantial change in need or in an ability to pay may be grounds for alimony modification. These changes include, but are not limited to health issues; long-term unemployment; retirement; an increase in income the result of a significant raise, a substantial gift, inheritance or even lottery winnings; and remarriage by the person receiving alimony, among others.

Florida alimony law is also in the midst of potential reform. One of the major reformations would be to specifically define “substantial change” so as to allow for, and expect, modification.

Unfortunately, there are legal costs associated with asking for a modification that not only include attorney’s fees, but also court fees, expert witness fees (if required), and in some cases even private investigator fees.

Of course, some of these issues can be avoided at the onset of a divorce settlement through the use of a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. He or she can assist you in determining if you’ll have enough resources to support your current lifestyle as well as your lifestyle into the future.

Divorce: Understanding your finances before it’s too late

finances, divorceMoney, and the battle over who gets what, can mean the difference between an amicable divorce and one that creates long-term animosity that can carry over into all aspects of a divorce settlement.

But it doesn’t have to be that way if you are armed with the knowledge of your own financial picture. Before battle lines are drawn there are some things you can do to protect both your emotional and financial well-being.

Get a handle on your finances: Oftentimes, there is a one person in a relationship who has no idea of the family’s financial situation. Rather than be bothered, they allow the other spouse to make all of the money decisions – from the checking and savings accounts to long-term retirement planning.

Unfortunately, it’s only when the relationship is coming to an end that they start paying attention to money matters. Before it even gets to this point, it’s imperative that you learn as much as possible including all of the account numbers as well as online usernames and passwords.

Bring in an expert: While playing catchup isn’t easy, the first step those facing divorce should do is bring in a financial expert to put together a plan to separate assets. Even if you already have a family CPA or accountant, it’s better to bring in a third party, such as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, who is working solely on your behalf. If there are hidden assets, they are best equipped to find them.

Till debt do you part: Just as important as knowing what you have in your bank accounts is knowing what is owed. If debt is incurred during your marriage – even if it was a result of your spouse’s poor money management – you will likely end up sharing responsibility for it. Credit card companies can come after both of you. When possible, it’s best for both of you to pay off what you owe before the divorce is finalized.

Don’t jump to conclusions: Many times the custodial parent will ask for the house simply because they don’t want to upset the children any further by uprooting them. But this may not be the best financial decision. They fail to take into consideration the expenses that go along with home ownership. Aside from the mortgage, there’s insurance, property taxes, costs associated with maintenance and repair as well as any unexpected costs that might pop up.

Anticipate unexpected costs: Just because your spouse’s company pays for your health insurance now, it doesn’t mean you will have that benefit once you are divorced. And, as we all know healthcare and other insurance costs can add up. Maybe your company pays for your car or mileage now, but what happens if you lose that job? Will there be a car payment in your future? While you can’t plan for every scenario, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can help you to figure out how best to factor in those kinds of expenses when working out a settlement agreement.

Decide what to divide: You might be surprised to learn some of the things that couple’s fight over when it comes to divvying up assets. I have had clients fight over everything from who gets the silverware to wanting compensation for half of a breast augmentation they paid for. Worse yet, many times people demand to keep something they don’t even want, just to get back at their spouse. This kind of behavior will end up costing you more in attorney’s fees than the items you are fighting over. Be prepared to engage in some give and take. Give your spouse a list of what you absolutely want to keep, have them do the same, and negotiate without the help of costly legal counsel. You might be surprised at what you can agree upon.

By taking just a few simple steps at the onset of divorce proceedings, you can save yourself a lot of time, money and grief.

Alan Frisher is a Licensed Financial Advisor as well as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. His goal is to help clients understand their financial situation and to come to the best resolution based on their individual situation. For more information, contact Alan at (321) 242-7526 or email him at info@sagedivorce.com

Why you need a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst on your team

Divorce financesWe’ve all heard them before – divorce horror stories from spouses who were “taken to the cleaners” or who “got a raw deal” in the divorce settlement. But it doesn’t have to end that way if you bring in the right team of professionals to assist you through the process.

While a family law/divorce attorney can provide you with legal advice, once it comes time to divide the marital assets, you might want to consider adding a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or CDFA to your team.

This is not the same as a financial advisor or an accountant. A CDFA is specially trained and equipped with the necessary knowledge and expertise to help those going through a divorce protect their financial future. CDFA’s work in conjunction with attorneys on a wide range of needs to make sure you achieve a financially fair divorce settlement.

A CDFA can help you to get a handle on your assets, liabilities, income and expenses to determine how much money you will need to live on after the divorce is finalized. And, if children are involved, how much child support will be needed.

He or she will conduct a financial analysis of your situation and review any holdings you may have – stocks, bonds, real estate, retirement plans, etc. – that is to be divided. This will help you to determine, not only their present-day value, but also their potential value in the future. This will help you to make a budget for your post-divorce life. CDFAs also can drill down into your finances and help to identify the tax consequences of different settlement scenarios.

Oftentimes those going through a divorce only look at the here-and-now and fail to take into consideration the implications of today’s financial decisions on their future. While a CDFA doesn’t have a crystal ball, they can help you look down the road to determine what long-term impact a divorce settlement might have on your finances, well into your retirement. This empowers those going through a divorce by providing the financial knowledge needed to move forward.

There’s no doubt that going through a divorce is an emotional experience. Many times, spurned spouses will use money to get back at the person they once thought they would spend the rest of their lives with. A CDFA can, not only help to take that emotion out of the decision-making process, but also to create a more even playing field designed to result in a fair and equitable resolution.

Did you know that the average length of a U.S. divorce is one year? Battles over money are the main reason many divorces drag on for months, or even years. By using the services of a CDFA upfront you will have the critical financial information you need at your fingertips. This will help your divorce attorney when it comes down to negotiating a settlement and possibly getting through the process sooner.

Article – 5 Essential Tips for Financial Planning After Divorce

Here is a good article “5 Essential Tips for Financial Planning After Divorce” that gives you some important financial tips for the time after your divorce. I help many people who are going through a divorce, but what happens after the divorce is actually over? Well, there are many financial questions that come up after a divorce. As a Financial Advisor, I have addressed many such questions in my practice.

Emma Johnson Apps to Make Divorce Easier

Emma Johnson, of the Huffington Post, wrote this article about apps to make divorce easier. She has been writing good articles on divorce for many years. What with the new technology that we incorporate in our daily lives, it’s no wonder that there are now new apps for divorce. These apps help you organize your life so that it is easier to pay child support, find professionals to assist you through the legal and financial challenges, and even an app to help with co-parenting. I have not personally used these apps, but I can see where they may be useful to some of my clients.

 

Alan Speaks in front of Appropriations Committee

Here is the video:

Message from alan Frisher, “I’m sorry that Senator Benacquisto was offended by my remarks. I am fully aware that both men and women receive and pay alimony. I stated in my testimony that ‘if you are a receiver of alimony, you don’t want to work in leu of possibly losing that alimony gravy train.’ I didn’t deserve to be chastised by the good Senator, but I understand the controversy surrounding this issue and how she could have misinterpreted my words.”